December. What happened to the rest of the year, I don’t know. But, here I am, in my office, looking out over all of the holiday decorations and lights below, and wondering how many Decembers I have spent in my office, this one or any other, and analyzed my life.
Just like A Christmas Carol, I wonder what my Ghost of Christmas Past would tell me, or, even more frightening, my Ghost of Christmas Future. Have I spent most of my holidays in a superficial trance, hoping to “get through” so life could get back to normal and not even appreciated what I’ve had? I honestly don’t know. I’d like to think I took nothing for granted, but as the saying goes, you don’t know what you’ve got ’till it’s gone. I wonder how much happier I’d be in December if I just stopped running around, keeping up with the Jonses, and spent more time with family and loved ones instead of my office.
Ironic that I’m figuring all of this out as I swivel in my work chair. Most of the staff is gone now, and I am enjoying the peace that is forced on me, but the sad part is that I know I’ll wake up tomorrow and tell myself I was just overtired and thinking way too much. I wonder how many other people are doing exactly what I’m doing now.
And I wonder if the Ghost of Christmas Past reminds them about the loved ones that were probably perfect for them, and they lost their chance with because they were too busy wondering if the grass was greener on the other side of the fence.
Mac’s Blue Christmas