I have a friend who does freelance publicity, she’s a brave soul. Back when I did freelancing (before my New York publishing days) I was never at the mercy of people who, hmmm, for lack of a better term, went off their meds. With so many people writing books, it’s a brave (and often frightening) new world. So, this guy who she worked with three years ago writes to ask her if she’d like to promote his next book. Freelance publicists love return authors, it’s always great when you can work with someone again so, of course, she wrote him right back and offered him marketing ideas and pricing for his new tome. What she got back from him was rather interesting.

He was “highly insulted” that she’d ask him for money when he had paid her already.article-1093667-046B1B130000044D-31_468x286

Um, three years ago.

He said he expected her to market him again and, in fact, market him till he was successful. He said he was furious that their conversation had taken this turn, and would await her immediate response.

Wait, is that a pig flying around?

She has a good sense of humor about this (also, drinking helps), she called me and said, “I wonder if we can try this with stuff, like, I dunno, vacations. ‘Hi, I know I flew your airline to New York two years ago, now I’d like you to take me to Maui, I didn’t enjoy New York that much, I’m hoping you’ll fly me around till I enjoy myself.”

What makes people think they can do this? I mean, seriously? He also said that he was insulted that she touted authors on her website and didn’t mention his book.

Wow. Anger management much?

Freelance publicists are some of the bravest souls in the industry. At least I have a high tower and guard at the front door to keep the crazies out, also, if things get too hairy we send people on tour to places like Bald Nob, Arkansas and Bobo, Alabama. I think pigs do actually fly there.

Note to authors: never jack with your publicist.