In honor of rapper 50 Cent’s book release, Formula 50: A 6-Week Workout and Nutrition Plan That Will Transform Your Life, I thought it only fair that I no longer withhold some cash cow celebrity book ideas that will not only change peoples’ lives, but ensure our completely nonsensical fascination with the famous and the disproportionate amount of credit they get for being thought leaders continues…here are 10 that are ready for bookshelves now:


Maintain Your Sub-Par Career By Being the Best Version of You Possible, by Charlie Sheen

Wife, Mother, Respect: How To Have It All In 2013, by Britney Spears

Raising Young Women to Make Healthy Choices, by Miley Cyrus

Wooing, Wining, Dining, and Flawlessly Impressing Women, by Chris Brown

How to Be An Effective Public Speaker, by Jodie Foster

1,001 Ways To Improve Your Reputation, by Lindsay Lohan

Balance a Husband, Baby-Daddy, Your Pregnancy and Career With Class, by Kim Kardashian

Mastering Self-Delusion: Being Awesome When Everyone Despises You, by Lance Armstrong

Aging Gracefully And Dating Over 50, by Demi Moore

How to Be a Rock Star Without Ever Committing to Anything, by President Barack Obama

So there you go. You may be laughing but I kid you not, these books would sell. Why? Because “we” as a society care what these people have to say. Then my real authors, those with quality content, wonder why they have a hard time even getting an interview in a local publication these days.

If you demand better, publishing will give you better. I can’t say this enough.

But for now, let’s watch the headlines to see which publishers snatch up these golden opportunities in the coming year.